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forget about the sunshine

[Today’s title lyric from: The All American Rejects- Sunshine]

I’ve decided to start posting the name of the song where i get my titles. Just cause. =P So yea that song is from the new All American Rejects album, which isn’t too bad…but that song is definitely the best off it. I’ve also been listening to the new Hilary Duff o_O Even though her single is a cover thats been done like 80 times.

I may do another vlog on Monday so stay tuned for that (and if you have any questions for me, ask them and I’ll answer).

Now for something unrelated…prepare to hear about my childhood. woo!. So like last week I got a Facebook invite to a gradeschool reunion type thing. Now I’m not even going to get into how much I hated gradeschool. Well, okay maybe I am…since thats what this paragraph(s) is supposed to be about. =p I went to a small Catholic 1st through 8th grade school with snobby kids who liked to pick on me cause I wasn’t talkative enough for them. Hell, they even picked on the kids who were too talkative, so I can’t even explain that. haha. Now I’m not saying they were all assholes, I had some kids there I was friendly with who I would still be friendly with today if I saw them, mainly the girls. But the GUYS (save a few). They were brutal. Those were some awful little boys right there haha. Especially a couple in particular. I mean they physically beat another boy with sticks in the playground in 7th or 8th grade, and caused him to get welts. WTF? Maybe its just that little kids can be cruel? Did anyone have similar experiences as a kid? I’m not sure if its just because I was in a very small and closed-minded community, or if all little kids are in fact like this. I often wonder how I would have turned out if I had gone to a large public elementary school. Of course, then I wouldn’t have the fond memories of having boys making noises at my face like I’m stupid, and of not being in brownies or girl scouts or cheer leading or any of the things that 99.9% of the girls in my class were in. Those things build character! hahaha.

Its interesting how when you go to college, or even high school to some extent, being different is actually welcomed and thought of as “hip”, and chances are theres a clique thats the same kind of different that you are. But if you’re even the slightest bit different in grade school you get pounced on since everyone is basically the same.

Theres one, maybe two, things that I attribute to the awful time I had in gradeschool. One, is my general uncomfortableness around guys. Now its nowhere near as bad as it used to be, but I remember in high school I used to never feel comfortable talking to guys or being friendly with them since they were always the ones that bothered me. The girls, for the most part, were nice or at least pretended to be…so I was always more comfortable around girls cause I saw them as generally “nice” while I considered boys to be “mean”. Obviously I’ve grown and don’t associate guys with meanness anymore, but I still feel that slight inkling of uncomfortableness which I don’t think will ever go away. I won’t go into the second one, which involves me not going to church, since my reasoning for not doing so is different now than what it used to be.

At any rate, getting the facebook invite started me thinking about grade school so I decided to post about it. I’m sure not everyone there is a snobby bitch or an a-hole anymore. It was 8 years ago. lol. But unfortunately I still hold that grudge against certain people there, and suffice it to say I will not be attending. I’m probably the only one there who doesn’t associate with at least a couple people from the class anymore (besides being facebook friends). I was tempted to immediately put “no” for the event, but I would have been the only one and would have probably made it very apparent that I hated everyone, so I decided to be civil and put “maybe”…cause I’m a wussy like that. But perhaps me being the only one not there will be a statement enough.

You know what I want? A high school reunion! Way better people. Loved that place. Anywho sorry about the lengthy entry. Its a Saturday afternoon and I have nothing else to concern my mind with. I’m off for the next two weeks which is exciting…I can’t wait until Christmas! I had to re-arrange some of the decorations you saw in my last vlog, though. The snowflake and star lights kept falling down, so right now they’re just being propped agaisnt things. And the stockings were moved to the front wall from the vent cause I think the heat kept causing them to fall off.

Okay I’m gonna stop blabbing on now…lata chicas.

GOD DAMMIT. My “i” key just fell off. Now the grand total of missing keys is 3. Oh bother…

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3 Comments

  1. Hmm I don’t think I’d want to go to my primary school’s reunion either. I don’t have fun memories either, for lots of the same reasons as you. *shudder*

  2. I had pretty good experiences throughout my education. I did have some boys who picked on me. One boy in particular enjoyed tormenting me once he found out I had a crush on him. He brought me to tears more than once. I was also very quiet so people seem to like to pick on quiet people more often. In fact, people still tease me for being so quiet. But it’s more in fun than being hateful now that I’m older. I always say that being picked on has made me a stronger person.

    I still don’t feel that comfortable speaking with guys. But I don’t think it has to do with childhood experiences. I think I’m just shy. I don’t think I’ve ever been friends with a guy that I didn’t have a crush on at least at some point. So I’m scared of saying something stupid to a guy and then blushing. But I’ve gotten better as I got older. I still won’t initiate a conversation with guys but if they start talking to me I will try to keep the conversation going.

    I think a reunion would be fun. But an elementary school reunion would be a little pointless for me because I also went to high school with most of the people from elementary school. But I do look forward to a high school reunion. I can’t believe that I’m already half way to a reunion. I finished high school in 2003 so that was about 5 years ago! How did I get so old?

  3. Merry Christmas, Melanie! I hope you’re having an awesome day. =]

    I didn’t like grade school very much, either. Almost all of the boys that were in my grade were total jerks… I only had about 1 or 2 guy friends back in middle school, but now I have more because they’ve matured, thank God. 😉

    I used to love Hilary Duff! I think I’m going to check her out, too.

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